1. INTRODUCTION

The Catholic Church in Gaudium et Spes, recognizing the indispensable place of the family both to the church and society, spells out that “the well-being of the individual person and of both human and Christian society is closely bound up with the healthy state of conjugal and family life.”[1] This is in recognition that both the church and society as aggregates of individuals is healthy when its individual members are healthy too. However, the healthy state of each individual is achieved in the family since the family as a basic unit is the initial place of human formation. So to have a good church, we need a healthy family where human formation takes place efficiently. In Africa the place of the family in the society cannot be underestimated. A family in Africa has a communal dimension since “it is the basis of community. It is both an efficient cause of its community and also the community’s primary care and concern.”[2]  With this in mind, this paper highlights the need to celebrate the sacrament of matrimony in the Small Christian Community (SCC), to make its communitarian dimension more visible. It is based on my personal experience.

2. COMMUNITARIAN ASPECT OF FAMILY

Aylward Shorter observes that “African customary marriage was not just a private contract between two individuals; it was an alliance between two family communities.”[3]  This observation alludes to the fact that when two people in Africa marry, they bring together their family communities and a bond is created between them. Such a bond is everlasting and hence strengthens the social fabric. Both sides have the obligation to support the new couple for a successful family life. That is why before they finally get married, the family community from which one comes from participates in all the stages of preparation. Shorter affirms that; “the village community took part in nearly every stage of the process. They testified publicly to the event taking place in their midst, gave their assent to it and joined in admonishing and instructing the newly-weds.”[4]  Marriage celebrations are therefore celebrations of the whole community, both during initial preparations and the feast itself. Therefore the whole community would safeguard the welfare of the new family of which they were actively involved in its coming into being. Its success is a pride to the community and its failure is a concern to all. A happy family in turn contributes to a happy and healthy community. All these give credence to the claim that in Africa, the family has a communitarian dimension. Given its importance in the social arena, care is taken that the community is not by-passed in all the stages; otherwise that family will not be recognized by community members.

3. THEN CHRISTIANITY CAME

Christianity did not take away the importance of family in Africa. What changed is the mode of celebrating it.  Before the community was actively involved in preparing the couples through various counseling sessions. As a replacement, the church created marriage counselors at the parish thereby assuming the role of the community. The place of exchanging marital vows which is central to marriage changed from the village where they come from to the parish church. The village becomes a place where only feasting would take place. There is evidence that; “in other places the churches tolerated customary marriage, but insisted on the celebration of marriage in church as well.”[5] This was so because “in the eyes of many pastors, a wedding is made holy because it is held in a sacred place.”[6] Now because of a long distance from the village to the parish church, many community members would not make it. Even if they did, the ceremony in the parish church is the prerogative of the priest and the rest are passive witnesses. With counseling and the actual exchange of vows which are fundamental stages of marriage taken away from the community members, they are reduced to mere spectators and hence do not own the marriage as before. Lack of participation in these crucial stages makes the community less obliged to the welfare of the family. And therefore by insisting on a church wedding, the church weakens this human institution due to lack of participation by the community.

4. CELEBRATING MARRIAGE AT THE SCC LEVEL

In 2005, during my parish pastoral experience, I attended the celebration of the sacrament of matrimony at the Small Christian Community (SCC) level. This was at Namitembo Parish, Zomba Diocese, Malawi. It is a rural parish with most of the parishioners engaged in irrigation farming. There is also the presence of a good number of government and NGO employees in different institutions working there. There is an economic gap between the local residents of the parish and those working there for different institutions, the local residents with a lower economic standing.

As a way of implementing the vision of new way of being church, the parish priest of Namitembo gave a provision that those willing to wed can choose to do so either in the parish church as had been the practice or in their respective SCCs.  To actualize this, an arrangement was made that when a member of a particular SCC intends to marry, registration takes place at that SCC, the counseling sessions are done there, the parish marriage counselors must work together with the counselors of that particular SCC and counseling itself be held in that SCC.  The announcing of the marriage bands is done both at the parish and at that SCC every week they meet.

On the actual day the sacrament is to celebrated, the mass take place at the house of the bride since the local ethnic group society is matrilineal. It is a mass just like at any other SCC meeting. During the sharing of the Word of God, the members emphasize sharing their life experiences in their families with the view of advising the ones to marry soon of the challenges of the commitment they are about to make. The priest also shares the Word of God from his perspective. When it is time to exchange marital vows, the priest invites members from each side of the couple to stand behind their relative. Parents, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, nieces, nephews and all who are related to them stand behind them to witness and give their assent to the event.

5. EVALUATION

This practice restores the communitarian aspect of the African family which is vital. By registering the marriage at that SCC, involving counselors of that SCC, announcing marriage bands at that SCC and celebrating the sacrament itself at that SCC, the local community is involved. There is greater participation of relatives and this makes them feel part and parcel of the process. Advice given during the sharing of the Word of God is based on their personal experiences and this carries more value. Since the community knows the strengths and weakness of the new couple, they are at a better position to give relevant advice. The community is no longer passive witnesses or spectators but active players.

6. CONCLUSION

Shorter contends that “we have to get away from the impersonal parish and diocese, and down to the real-life communities in which people live.”[7] If this suggestion is to be taken seriously, then the celebration of the sacraments in the SCCs cannot be ignored. Marriage as human institution has a communitarian dimension here in Africa. The church therefore must work with the community concerned for the successful celebration of the sacraments in view of their future life as couples. I agree with the suggestion that “the church community must create its own structures for marriage preparation and marriage counseling, and it must be actively involved in all the stages by which marriage is arranged and finalized”[8] because it is not proper to leave aside the community concerned which is the custodian of the family. By being actively engaged, the community works all the time to restore peace in that family if the need arise because they know they contributed to their coming together. There might be accompanying problems in the process, but I feel the gains are too numerous to ignore. If our claim of SCCs as new way of being church is to be a reality, then celebrating marriage at the SCC level must be met with applause rather than resistance.

Samuel Satiele, SMM is a Montfort Fathers seminarian from Malawi. He is studying in the Second Year of Theology at Hekima College, the Jesuit School of Theology in Nairobi, Kenya. He does pastoral work in animating SCCs in Sacred Heart Parish in Nairobi. This paper was written in March, 2008 in the course on "Small Christian Communities as a New Model of Church in Africa Today."

Samuel Satiele, SMM

Montfort Fathers

Nairobi, Kenya

Email: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

Benezeri Kisembo, Laurenti Magesa &Aylward Shorter (Editors), ‘African Christian Marriage,’ (Nairobi: Pauline Publications Africa, 1998), p. 46.

Aylward Shorter, ‘Christian Family Power in Africa, Spearhead No. 48,’ (Eldoret: Gaba Publications, 1977), p. 71.
Ibid., p. 72.
Ibid., p. 74.
Ibid., p. 76.
Aylward Shorter, ‘Christian Family Power in Africa,’ p.81.